My week at the BFI London Film Festival has ended. What an abundance of input. I feel like all emotions have been pulled out of me and I'm left empty, but fulfilled and confused in the best sense of the word. Confused of what my opinion is of every film. It is THE conversation starter during every networking event; 'What is your favourite film? What did you think of....?' Like films and art can be rated so black and white and on a list. Some films touched me more than others, but is a film deemed only good when it touches you? I feel like some films will stay with for a while and will take time to sink in and for me to make sense of them. They might become meaningful to me over time, or not. Some films felt healing, like 'Beautiful Boy', as it really hit home for me. While others felt like they ripped open a wound ('A Private War') and now I have all this blood gushing out of it and I don't know what to do with it. If I should try and put the bandage on again (will it still stick?), or let it open and hope that over time it will heal, not leaving any scars?
'Soni' made me feel so powerful and strong while 'Roma' and 'A Private War' (I've seen it this morning so it's on my mind still a lot) left me feeling absolutely hopeless.. wanting to make a change but not knowing how or where to start. It makes me talk about it with anyone I meet, directing the conversation from just the film to what is happening in this world around us and what influence we have on it.
'Only You' inspired me as an actor and made me scared at the same time, Laia Costa is just so good. Her freedom, grounded use of her voice and accessible emotions are what I strive towards in my acting. I can't wait to use the end 'breakup' scene in my own class to see how I can explore this text. She is a big improvisor as seen in her wonderful film 'Victoria', and after during the Q&A I asked the Director Harry Wootliff how much of the dialogue came together on set and how much was scripted. She said 95% was scripted, but that indeed Laia had a urge to improvise a lot.
I loved seeing 'The Kindergarten Teacher' as it explores for me the difference between intention and action. Does it matter if you do bad things with a good intention? Do we have a responsibility towards art or towards humans? And what makes someone a 'good' or 'bad' person? I was lucky enough to be at the Screentalk with Maggy Gyllenhaal who stars and produced the film, a direction I hope to focus on with this degree. It was great to hear how she reflected on the past roles in her life.
I look forward to reading the books 'Educating the reflective practitioner' and 'A handbook of reflective and experiential learning: theory and practice' and reflect further on this film festival.
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